I stopped my depression meds cold turkey. Yes I know I should have worked with my doctor. At my last appointment I expressed interest in beginning the weaning process and was told that patients should be “well” for a year before making that decision. Problem was—I was never well. I was better, but not well. … Continue reading When that second deity reaches out.
Is mental illness curable? I’m beginning to wonder. Every time I think I’ve got this my anxiety or depression pops up like “heyyyyy girl long time no see!” At this point I’m beginning to wonder if it will ever end or if this is just my new reality. Well not so new as I’ve had … Continue reading Is anxiety my diagnosis or is it me?
And that's the beauty of being in tune with oneself--all that matters is what feels right--not what others think is right.
Sometimes your mental health has to take priority. You won't have a choice. You can either keep making mistakes, being mediocre, and being ridiculously hard on yourself--or you can make a change that puts your mental and emotional well being first. Today I asked for my work to be reassessed. You know one of those … Continue reading I’m my biggest bully
No one reads the dark. I don't blame them. I'd be afraid to sink into the dark too if I wasn't already here. The only ones that read the dark are those that recognize it themselves. They are familiar with it. Almost comfortable. Being here means you've recognized you're alone. There's no magic fairy going … Continue reading Not for happy people
Clear minds prevail. This is one of the few tidbits of wisdom that works as my mantra. That and karma needs no explanation. Sometimes knowing that doesn’t help. It is in those moments I know that my depression has taken over and this is not just another bad day. Because a bad day I can … Continue reading Help or get the hell on…Don’t judge me.
I doubled my depression meds and was capable of functioning today. I decided while I'm able to function I should find some advice, something relatable, just SOMETHING for when I go there again. Because I will. Depression is an everyday battle. Most days are good now thanks to my medications--but some days are so bad. … Continue reading Spilling my darkness
I should be writing a paper. But I’m not. I’m writing this blog in a vain attempt to gain some sanity. Work. I am overworked. I cannot list the amount of work or tasks or things that I am responsible for at work. Seriously. Like I’d have to log for 2 months probably to get … Continue reading Success or Sanity
I want to write today, not about any particular topic, just write. The kids are on summer break and I am losing my mind. I’m currently in my 1-week break between terms for school. My weight loss has stalled. My mental health has stalled. Everything seems to be ehhh. But I’m happy with that. I’m … Continue reading Balancing my Circle
My brain is in chaos today. There is no reason that I can understand. I cannot figure out what I should be doing. Writing this is a chore, I have to contemplate each word whereas normally words flow from my fingers faster than my brain. Not today, today my fingers are prying away at the … Continue reading The chaos that is my brain