Messy Mom

I am a messy mom.  I mean that in more than one way.  My mind is messy, my house is messy, my car is messy, hell even the way that I parent is messy.  Which I might add is a stark contrast to my office at work, where not one thing is out of place, my email box is consistently at 0 and my tasks and priorities are mapped out strategically with notes and charts so that I can track my own productivity and efficiency.  I could blame the fact that I’m a Gemini and by nature I have two completely different personalities.  Or I can blame my eagerness to be my absolute best in my job.  But then I wonder does that mean I’m not trying to be my absolute best for my family?

This is a question that I’ve pondered over and over again and I think that I’ve finally come to a conclusion.  There is no way in hell that I would be able to do both, in fact, there is no way in hell I could be perfectly organized, 100% up on chores and duties, smiling ear to ear and having the patience of a saint at home ANYWAYS.  So I chose the easier option. I don’t have 4 children destroying everything behind me as I clean at work.  I don’t have a 7-year-old and a 4-year-old whose constant bickering gives me a constant headache at work.  I don’t have the same stressors, being a mom is HARD.  I used to try to keep up at home but I found it more than exhausting and pointless.  By the time someone came over to see the work I had put in my house was already destroyed.

So, this is my memo to everyone: If you come over my house, it will be messy and I am done apologizing for it.  If you ride in my car, it will be messy and I’m done apologizing about it.  If you ask me for something and I forget, I do apologize but don’t be mad at me—I have a LOT going on.  I’m letting the shame go and reveling in the fact that I am okay being a messy mom. And being a messy mom doesn’t mean that I don’t love my family any less.  It just means that I’d rather focus on the love and fun rather than the chips smashed into the carpet or the crayon on the walls.

XOXOX

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