If you want to hide something—put it in plain view. Kids can never find what’s right in front of them but let something be somewhere you can’t even find it… They’ll find it and destroy it

Going to a family event or any event that requires the kids to look good requires an entire morning. Anything scheduled before 3 will not get our best.

And on that note, I always forget about myself when working out the timing until after polishing 30 fingernails and 30 toenails, doing 3 heads of hair in a not-so-simple design, and spending extra time to ensure the kids match. Hence the mom-bun was born and thank goodness black leggings are appropriate for EVERYTHING.

The house will never be clean until the kids move out. Even then it won’t be completely clean because after years of throwing in the towel I’ve become a partial slob myself.

Laundry is never ending. I’ve seriously found clothes that I had forgot I had bought from the PREVIOUS year.

If you have a special dress or outfit that you love on your child, forget it. They’ll either hate it or love it so much that they have to wear it every day until it looks like you let your kid participate in mud wrestling.

Nailpolish art on tables is a given. There will be spills, leaks, drops, and smears over all surfaces.

Hand-me-downs sound like a great concept, I wouldn’t know because for the most part my kids destroy all of the clothes they wear.

Shoes. Oh the shoes. You have to have a set of brown, black, white, pink, and silver sandals, tennis shoes, boots and dress shoes. For each kid. And that’s just the basics. And they change sizes about every six months. And forget handing them down, they’ll have them completely trashed by month 5.

The fights and tantrums. Seriously it becomes white noise. I promise.

Food. The myth that boys eat a lot more than girls is just that. There is no possible way anyone eats as much as my girls. NO POSSIBLE WAY.

Art. Art doesn’t solely belong on paper—nooooooo….. It goes on the walls, the furniture, clothes, shoes, toys, books, and everything else with a surface. Trying to keep up with the cleaning is a waste of time. So I just consider it that, art.

If you absolutely love anything and don’t want it drawn on/destroyed/played with/lost take it to work with you. Work is my safe haven.

It’s all worth at the end of the night.